If you are tired of enjoying life, having peace, and being happy, then this blog is for you. In the next few minutes, I’m going to give you the secrets to getting out of the sunshine, and under that perpetual rain cloud. You too, can find true misery in life if you follow these five simple steps!
1. Start Comparing Yourself To Others – Nothing will get you feeling like a “Loser” faster than comparing yourself to others. Dwelling on what everyone else has and does will help you feel as if your life stinks. One of the easiest ways to do this is to spend way more time on Social Media. Through things like Facebook and Instagram, you can see people’s posts celebrating thier perfect home, perfect marriage, and perfect children so that you can realize just how “not perfect” your life is. Who cares if those posts are completely disconnected from the actual reality of that persons life? The more you think and believe that they have a perfect life and you don’t, the more unhappy and miserable you will feel.
2. Stop Being Thankful For Little Things – Grattitude is the enemy of the miserable soul, and so in order to spiral into self-pity and dispair you will need to resist being thankful at all costs. You have got to reject the reality that 99% of the world’s population would give anything to live your life, with it’s abundance and ease. No matter how many blessings exist around you, you have to close your eyes to them or you’ll never find the misery you so desire.
3. Make Everything About Yourself – If you can master the art of making “You” the center of everything, then you can push away virtually every healthy relationship that only tempt you to smile, laugh, relax, and enjoy life. At every opportunity, talk about yourself, your struggles, your misery, and dwell on the thought that everything should be about you and your own personal happiness. Don’t let yourself get distracted by other people’s problems or you might begin to think that their struggles matter as much as yours. Stay selfish. It’s all about you.
4. Don’t Let Anything Be Good Enough – Some might call this being an “Idealist”, others might call it “Perfectionism”, but it really is about not being content with anything. Your marriage is not good enough, your house is not clean enough, your coffee isn’t hot enough, your kids are not good enough, and most importantly, you are not good enough. This helps you embrace the reality that you are a victim, and that everyone should pity you, just like you pity yourself.
5. Give In To Fear – Finally, if you can let your fear run the show, you are well on your way to such a miserable existance that it really will be “the worst”. The fear of not getting everything you want can lead you to try to control even the most uncontrolable things, and the more you try to control, the more anxiety you will feel because you’ll soon discover that you can’t control everything. The great thing about this, is that it cements the thinking that everything is all about you, and when things don’t turn out the way you want, you’ll feel like a failure. It’s a win/win for the tortured soul.
So be discouraged. Be self oriented. Don’t be thankful. Believe the worst. You can do it. Misery is just a few key steps away.
Oh My Goodness! What a great blog! It really puts things in perspective for the doubters and “negative Nancy’s”, doesn’t it?! As I too, can fall prey on occasion to #1 (okay, more than on occasion…) I work very diligently on the rest of them. Am I successful? Oh heavens no! But, I keep on, keeping on. I keep praying and thanking the Lord, as He IS good enough ALWAYS. I am doing a 31-Day devotional called, “Seeing Yourself Through God’s Eyes” and WOW is it phenomenal! I highly recommend it to all. It really addresses all the numbers. It is putting such peace in my heart!
[…] A few days ago I shared a sarcastic post about “How To Make Yourself Miserable”. This post was designed to get a person to think about what actually leads to our personal feelings of misery and unhappiness, and to challenge us to get rid of those things. If you didn’t get a chance to read that post, you can do so here. […]